Rest in Peace Sweet Cheetoe

I write this post with the heaviest of hearts.  Through tear-filled eyes that can barely see what I am typing.  My sweet baby Cheetoe was put to sleep tonight.  I can't even believe I am typing this.  Cheetoe woke up just fine this morning and tonight she couldn't move, was breathing heavily and incontinent.  The doctor said she was most likely bleeding internally possibly from cancer or a tumor in the abdomen.  She was listless, lifeless and you could tell she was ready to go.  I looked in her eyes and she wasn't there.  Just a blank stare.  One of the hardest things I've ever had to go through.

I got Cheetoe when she was only 5 weeks old.  I was a junior in college and I BEGGED my mom to let me get her.  And she was the cutest thing I had ever layed eyes on. 

Until about the time she was 3 years old she was such a little trouble maker.  I swear if there was a sock in the house, she'd find it.  And quite frankly, that trait she never lost.  Just YESTERDAY she managed to swipe my sock which I found clear across the house in the dining room.  She would tear up any stuffed toy she could find and she was a JUMPER.  Oh boy, would she jump.  Everyone was greeted with an enthusiastic JUMP which would always lend itself to an uncomfortable situation, especially when she got to 85 pounds and was jumping.  This next picture was taken in her PRIME trouble making stage!

Cheetoe moved to Chicago with me.  She'd get up every morning with me at 6:00am and go running down by Lake Michigan.  And she'd get sticks that were 7 feet long and she'd carry them for the majority of the run.  And she was so proud of herself.  During the winter we'd get back to the apartment after a run and I'd have to let her "thaw" out in the kitchen because she literally had icicles hanging from her stomach hair. 

(Sorry, the quality of these pictures are HORRIBLE.  I literally took pictures of the pictures in the interest of time... it's 1:55a.m. as I type this.  Tomorrow should be fun.)

And when we moved back to Naples, it was just Cheetoe and me.  And every Christmas I'd get a picture of her in front of the Christmas tree with a Santa hat on.  Best. Dog. Ever.

Cheetoe LOVED to swim.  She would swim for hours and then sleep for days after.  I remember the first time I took her swimming she started to sink, but she quickly caught on!

When it was just me and Cheetoe, Cheetoe had it made.  She was my baby and I loved her so much.  She had 100% of me, my love and my attention.  My love for Cheetoe never changed, but life did.  And when Adrey and Charlie came along, Cheetoe became low man on the totem pole.  I'm feeling such tremendous guilt right now.  She was loved, and she knew it, but her life certainly changed when the kiddos came along. 

Sarah put it so perfectly tonight as I was crying, and feeling so much sadness and guilt. She told me that "Cheetoe knew she was loved, and that the kids came at the perfect time in her life. That it was time, anyway, for Cheetoe to relax. It was like she was at a retirement home." Kinda cute. Sarah, thank you from the bottom of my (very sad) heart for going with me tonight to take Cheetoe.  I told you I didn't need anyone to go with me, but I totally did.  Thank you for not listening to me.

Cheetoe was never far away.  If we left the room she was in and were gone for more than 2 minutes, she was hot on our trail.  She just wanted to be with us in the same room.  Always.  She was my bud.  She made herself a part of every event.

Cheetoe, you were the best dog ever.  I feel so lucky to have been the chosen one for you.  For 13+ years you loved me unconditionally.  For that I am truly grateful.  You were the most loyal dog and you gave the best kisses.  I hope you are at peace.  Mama loves you so much.  Until we meet again precious pup.